“Your children are going to be Asian”

It’s far too early to think about this (if my boyfriend is reading, don’t get any ideas) but I do wonder…what will my kids look like? My friends like to tell me i’m going to have Asian children…but that’s clearly not true, I’m not Asian. They’ll be half Asian and half white. They may however look more Asian than white, and that does make me wonder just how different they will look from me.

So what colour will their hair and eyes be? In my head I always assumed they would be blonde, but that is unlikely to happen now thanks to my boyfriend’s genes (unless I leave my boyfriend or they dye it). To explain why, it’s time for a (very simplified) lesson in genetics – the only thing I managed to remember from GCSE Science.

Everyone has 2 genes relating to hair/eye colour. There are two types of gene (in my simplified version); B and b. If we just focus on hair colour then:

B = Brown/Black hair

b  = Blonde hair

You will get one gene from your Mum and one from you Dad.

B is dominant, meaning if you get a B gene from a parent, you will have brown hair.

b is recessive, meaning while you may not have blonde hair, your child could.

I have bb genes as I have blonde hair. My boyfriend has BB genes as he is Asian – pretty much all Asians will be BB.

tumblr_md6xg0J9zN1r3ciqm

The graph above shows my genes, bb, and my boyfriends genes, BB, and what will happen if our child gets one gene from each of us. As you can see, the only result is Bb. As B is dominant over b, this means our children will have black/brown hair. The same works for eye colour. Brown eyes are dominant over blue.

In my situation, however, the children would become carriers of the blonde hair gene, meaning there is a possibility of blonde haired Grandchilden (thinking way too far ahead now!!!)

Of course there are always exceptions, but the chances of anything other than a dark haired, brown eyed child are about 0.1%. I never did like science…

So that is how colour comes about, but what about the facial features?

123Interracial family

From the majority of the photos I have found, it seems that the half Asian/half Caucasian children have quite large eyes but slanted like an Asian. The nose, mouth and facial shape seems to vary between mother, father or a mix of the mother and father. They also seem to have fair, Caucasian skin and a Caucasian facial shape. The general view of Asian/Caucasian mixed race people is that they are very attractive!

Of course it is different for everyone and the degree as to which a person looks like one race or the other can change. Looking at celebrities as an example, Keanu Reeves, Ne-Yo and KT Tunstall are a quarter Chinese, and Kristin Kreuk and Eddie Van Halen are half Chinese. It’s not always obvious!

kristin-kreuk-wallpaper-1201360596

Smallville actress Kristin Kreuk is half Chinese 

I found this website called MorphThing. You can put in a photo of yourself to see what your baby would look like if you had one with various different celebrities that they have loaded onto the site. You could also put in your own photo, so I decided to try it with photos of me and my boyfriend. This is the result.

Baby-of-1011758-10151726711273112-679102593-n-jpg-and-577780-10151368082033112-1602619126-n-jpg (1)

Kinda scary! (Probably should have found a photo without glasses too). I decided to put in photos of my Mum and Dad to see what the baby looked like, and the boy and girl version didn’t look a thing like either myself or my brother, so I’m fairly sure my child will not look this this!

So in conclusion, I’m probably going to have a little Caucasian child with Asian eyes and brown hair. But it’s far too early to be thinking about that anyway!

…I wonder what names would be good…

Images: itsxandy.tumblr.com, weloveinterracial.tumblr.com, morphthing.com

Advertisements

What is so great about AMWF?

Some people who stumble across this blog and others about AMWF might be thinking “What is so great about AMWF? Why are so many people in AMWF relationships blogging about it. What makes it so special compared to any other relationship?”

In many ways, AMWF relationships are no different from any other. However, I think there are a few differences that make it a little bit special, and make it rare. Proof of the rarity are in the stares and comments many AMWF couples get in the street. My boyfriend and I have had a fair few comments including:

“Get in their China man!” (I think the guy was fairly drunk)

“Eww, a chinky and a white girl” (Really wanted to slap the chavy teenage girl who said that)

“Why is she going out with you and not the white boys in the flat? (That one was my boyfriend’s Mum…)

tumblr_mrui4vmT5N1ss6hlfo1_400Culture differences can be a problem in AMWF relationships

So why is AMWF so rare? There are many blog posts by different people on this subject including On the Rarity of Foreign Women and Chinese Boyfriends/Chinese Husbands. In my personal opinion, I think the two main problems are culture and stereotypes.

Adapting to another culture is always going to be hard. There are many differences such as:

Food – Rice and noodles vs bread and potatoes. You both have to compromise on which food you’re going to eat, or you’ll never be able to go to a restaurant together! Even me, the fussiest eater in the world, has been to Chinese, Korean and Japanese restaurants.

Language – You may not have a first language in common. One or both of you would have to try to learn another language to be able to properly communicate with each other, and may have to act as translator for their family.

Attitudes – It is likely that there will be different attitudes, maybe not from your other half but from their parents. Diets, social gatherings, education and etiquette are a few things amongst many that you have to learn to accept if you want to get on with each other.

tumblr_mqg4ufRVIy1ss6hlfo1_400Stereotypes can be attractive or off-putting.

There are many stereotypes which can make starting a relationship between an Asian male and White female quite hard. They include:

White girls dating Asian guys are obsessed with Asian culture – I know a few girls who are obsessed with manga/anime and would love an Asian boyfriend to cosplay with. However, not every AMWF relationship is based on the white girl wishing she was Asian or having an Asian fetish. (And if it is, it doesn’t really matter! Be with who you want to be with!)

Asian men are ugly – In my opinion, being Asian shouldn’t be the factor that makes AMWF relationships so rare, but sadly I think it is. We all know that personality should overcome looks but I really think the majority of people are attracted to their own race. Whites prefer whites, blacks prefer blacks, Asians prefer Asians etc… Maybe this is one reason AMWF is something special, because it is a rare thing. There are, of course, people that don’t feel that way and are attracted to people of other ethnicities, and there are those who just happen to fall in love with a person regardless of their looks.

Asian men are too feminine and White females are not feminine enough – This piece of text from a forum post by Winston at Happier Abroad explains it.

A White female is more masculine, rough and independent than a typical Asian female from Asia. They need a guy who is more masculine than them, or at least is taller and looks more masculine. A typical Asian guy looks way too meek and feminine to them. They are not masculine enough for them, nor sexually attractive to them either. Asian males look nothing like what her DNA-driven mating instinct looks for. This is why most White women treat Asian men as asexual and do not consider them for any type of romantic relationship. 

On the other hand, a typical white female, especially an American white female of Anglo/Germanic/Scandinavian descent, is not feminine enough for an Asian male. NE Asian women in China and Japan are 1000x more feminine than White women are, even those in Europe, in every way. There is no doubt about that. A modern white woman is more rough, thick-skinned and masculine, compared to a typical Asian female. Therefore, a typical super feminine Asian woman is no doubt more naturally suited for an Asian man, who is not as rugged and masculine looking as a White male is. This is why white women who go to NE Asian countries have a lot of trouble finding decent quality Asian men to date, and often complain about it on the internet. 

Asian families would never accept a foreigner into their family – As the parents are in charge in an Asian family, if they don’t approve of a relationship it can make it very hard to continue. This blog post is AFWM but shows what that disapproval can do. Though it is rarer, there is always a chance the white girl’s family could be unhappy with the relationship too. It can be off putting for a white girl to even want to think about a relationship with an Asian man when it could all go horribly wrong so quickly, but not all Asian families are as against foreigners as it might seem.

tumblr_mqxmkuC0OT1s1tcj8o1_400Many parents are more than happy to have a foreign girl in the family

I think both men and women in AMWF relationship have to be intelligent and open minded and this is what makes AMWF so great. For me, one of the best things about an AMWF relationship is that you get to learn about a new culture and a different way of living. It can give you a new perspective on life and I think if you don’t want to learn, an AMWF relationship isn’t for you. Whether it’s discovering more about the country you’ve moved to, or learning all about a completely new country, you will learn a lot.  You also need to be able to look past the stereotypes, which often takes a very strong person to do when there is so much social pressure to think in a different way. This is another great thing about AMWF. You can prove the negative stereotypes wrong, as well as proving the more positive stereotypes right, and also show that many stereotypes are a loads of rubbish! Everyone is different and no matter what anyone else says, you should make your own decisions on a person rather than judging them straight away for being of a certain ethnicity.

I put the question “What do you think is the best thing about being in an Asian Male/White Female relationship?” to people on tumblr. Here are their answers:

  • “Proving those stereotypes wrong 🙂 Asian men are great lovers and caring partners.”
  • “You get to learn and respect another culture and their view on everything. Although there is a lot more best things about being in a AMWF relationship then just that! :P”
  • “Asian men typically show so much respect to their significant others. They always go above and beyond.”
  • “Well, if I am in a amwf relationship! I think that everything is the most happiness things to me!”

So you’ve heard my views and the views of the people on tumblr. What do you think is the best thing about AMWF relationships?

Images: akosiyavre.tumblr.com, amxf.net, weheartit.com

What’s in a name?

I had my very first job interview today. I don’t think it went too badly, it’s hard to tell.

I have only applied for 4 jobs so far. One had ignored me, one sent me a letter telling me they didn’t want me, one phoned me to tell me they’d just hired someone and the other gave me an interview. My boyfriend has now applied for between 20-30 jobs and he has had 2 replies, both telling him the job he applied for isn’t in the same city he lives in. (He knows this or he wouldn’t have applied!!!)

His CV is in perfect English; I have checked it many times and also asked my family to check it too. I think it looks quite good, so there is no obvious reason to ignore it. We also changed his CV to include my home address (we are applying to jobs near where I live and his home address is the other side of the country) in the hope that there will be no more issues with location, though location shouldn’t really be that much of a problem anyway. Surely when you finish University, you’re going to consider relocating? He has applied to a variety of jobs, but nothing seems to make a difference.

So why is he not getting any replies? Is it a coincidence? Is he applying for really popular jobs? Do they not want to risk an interview with someone who lives so far away? Is he actually under qualified and they can’t be bothered to reply to tell him he doesn’t have an interview? Or is it because he has an Asian surname?

8630205732_e746704f64_m

Are names effecting job applications?

I don’t want to come out and say he is a victim of racial discrimination, but I find it so strange that he is being ignored like this. I thought companies would actively want to hire people of a Chinese ethnicity, with the stereotype that they are hard working and intelligent. However, a report from Parliament.uk states that between July 2011 and June 2012, the percentage of unemployment was 7% for whites and 12% for Asians. It seems like it really is harder for Asian’s to get a job.

There is evidence behind the idea that his name could be the problem. Earlier this year, an African man applied for a job under his real name and was rejected. He then simplified his CV, re-submitted it under an English name and got an interview (You can read the full story here).

I’m sure many places would have no issue with hiring foreign people, especially places like London, but where I am from there are few Asian’s, just a lot of eastern Europeans, so it might seem like more of a risk to some companies to hire them. It’s also possible that any discrimination isn’t intentional. Employers flick through CVs so quickly that they could subconsciously dismiss someone with a foreign name.

With mixed race couples these days, there must be so many women married to foreign men, and many adults who have a British mother and a foreign father, giving them a foreign sounding name. A name shouldn’t make any difference. Britain is becoming a multi-cultural country and just because you name sounds foreign, it doesn’t mean you are. Are people going to have to start writing that they are British citizens to stop being ignored, or even go as far as to change their names by deed poll?

It would be pretty drastic for my boyfriend to change his name legally just to get a job, so we’ll just have to see what happens. Keep your fingers crossed that we both manage to get jobs! I’ll keep you updated on what happens.

Has anyone had any experience of possible race discrimination at work?

Image: flickrhivemind.net