Why do Western Women follow Asian Men home?

I recently received an email from a girl in an AMWF relationship, trying to decide whether her boyfriend should move to Europe with her or if she should move to Asia with him. Being concerned about the way people would treat their relationship in her country compared to his, she included a very interesting question “Why do so many AMWF couples live in Asia?”, or more specifically:

“Why is it that so often Western Woman follow Asian Men home, rather than the other way around?”

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There are many pros and cons of moving to another country or staying in your own which differ with each person, so what makes western women choose to move to Asia? Is it the personality of woman who chose an AMWF relationship, a stronger sense of adventure, a lower sense of family commitments?

Here are some possible reasons I’ve thought of as to why AMWF couples tend to move towards the Asian countries to live are:

1Image. The woman travelled to the Asian country in the first place, then she met a guy, and decided to stay.

2. Westerners in general have a stronger urge to travel and experience new things than Asians. (very stereotypical)

3. Asian culture is very family orientated. The man and his family don’t want him to leave which means the woman has little choice if they want the relationship to continue.

4. Asian culture is more accepting of AMWF relationships than western culture. (debatable)

5. Asian countries are better economically, with more employment opportunities for foreigners, cheaper costs of living and therefore more disposable income. It’s harder for an Asian man to get a good job in a western country.

6. Asian countries are generally more expat friendly.

7. Asian countries have a high quality of life and better weather. (depending on the country and what sort of weather you like!)

8. This isn’t a true statement, it just so happens that the woman who move to Asian countries blog more/comment more on the internet.

I feel like I am in the minority. My boyfriend followed me home. It is possible my situation is rather different than others, as it involved choosing between the North and the South of England rather than 2 different countries. My boyfriend moved from Hong Kong to the UK with his parents, long before he met me. While he may technically be an expat, he comes from a country which, before he left, was a British colony.

I never really considered staying in the North after I left university, even though I was dating him. I’m very close to my family in a way my boyfriend doesn’t seem to be with his own and I always wanted to go home. In the end we came to the conclusion that I would be happier going back to the South than he would be staying in the North, and he would be happier to come to the South than I would ever be staying in the North.

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It’s a completely different story with other countries though. While I could have managed living in the North, I would never in 1,000,000 years have been able to move to Hong Kong. This doesn’t seem to be the case with many AMWF couples though. From my time writing on this blog, I’ve noticed the vast majority of people I come across in AMWF relationships either moved to Asia and met a guy or met a guy, had a long distance relationship then moved to Asia. There are obviously a lot of AMWF couples in Western countries too, but I tend to find that a fair few of the Asian men have been in the Western country for all their lives, or moved at a young age with their parents.

Another interesting consideration would be – does this trend purely relate to AMWF couples? Is it gender based rather than relating to race? Are women more likely to follow a man half way around the world than a man would follow a woman?

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This is where all you guys come in. I’ve made a little survey primarily for AMWF couples so we can find out a bit more. Please respond in the comments and spread this around. (If you’re in any interracial relationship, not just in an AMWF relationship, please still respond. It will be interesting to look at this from a gender point of view.)

1. Firstly, what is your gender and what sort of relationship are you in?

2. Which countries have you and your partner lived in together? – Woman’s, Man’s, Other

3. Where is/Where do you anticipate your permanent residence to be? – the woman’s home country, the man’s home country, a completely different country or unsure?

4. Why have you chosen this country to live in?

5. Do you think white women are more likely to live in the home country of their Asian partner than vice versa, and why?

6. What are your opinions on the idea that women are more likely to follow men to another country?

Looking forward to the responses!

No sex please, we’re Japanese

My boyfriend and I have started watching some of the BBCs “This World” programmes that have been on recently, presented by Anita Rani.

The first was on BBC Two called, No sex please, we’re Japanese.

The show essentially was about the lack of people in Japan having children. There are now far more older people in Japan, to the extent that nappies for the elderly are outselling babies nappies. They showed a town which once had 21 primary schools, and now has just 1. The town had to close their maternity ward because there was no one having babies at all. The people said that the town had nothing to attract younger people, but also the birth rate is dropping very dramatically in Japan in general.

They started looking into the reasons as to why the birth rate is dropping. The reasons included culture, distractions, the economy and immigration.

Japan is so different from the rest of the world. Anime and manga, for example, is created not just for the younger generation but for the older ones too. One guy on the show was married, but he had a virtual girlfriend on a game called Love Plus for his Nintendo DS. He considered this his actual girlfriend and didn’t want to tell his wife about it. These men were called Otaku – geeks who are obsessed with anime and manga and tune out of the real world to live in a fantasy. It’s a common thing in Japan. A place in Tokyo called Akihabara (I want to go!) is full of anime and manga to please these sorts of people. They said that with entertainment and distraction like that, why would you want a complicated relationship?

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The state of the economy means that men in Japan have confidence issues, believing they will never amount to a lot and never make any more money than their parents did. They therefore want to revert to a childlike state of computer games and a virtual world to make them feel more comfortable. It is easier to deal with the virtual world than a real woman.

Other reasons for the dropping birth rates included that there are a lot of immigration rules in Japan making it harder for people from other cultures to come over, keeping the culture very traditional. In Japan men often think that women should stay at home, have children and be a housewife, whereas the women want a career. If you have children in Japan, in many ways it can end your career. Basically they were saying that if they were more interracial relationships, maybe there would be a population boost!

One survey said that just 27% of couples in Japan said they had sex every week. I’m not sure if it is just me…but that’s really not a lot is it!? Why do you guys think the birth rate in Japan is dropping?

You can read a more in-depth article by Anita Rani here. It focuses on the part of the show about men preferring anime and manga to real life women. Those in the UK can watch a clip of the two men with virtual girlfriends.

I don’t know about you, but i’m feeling 22

At the end of July, I turned 22. I don’t actually feel 22. (I just felt like getting a Taylor Swift quote in the title)

I’m actually often mistaken for a 16 year old – I think it’s because I do look younger than I am mixed with the fact that I don’t wear make-up and I don’t dress very adult-y. I’m a jeans and t-shirt sort of person. But I’ve finished University and I’m looking for a job. I’m officially an adult no matter how much I don’t feel like one.

Yes, I’ve been allowed to have sex, get married and smoke for 6 years (smoking age actually changed from 16 to 18 when I was 16 but who cares, I don’t want to smoke), I’ve been allowed to drive for 5 years and I’ve been allowed to drink, gamble, go clubbing and vote for 4 years…but due to the fact I don’t overly care about those things, being allowed to do them hasn’t made me feel any older.

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This doesn’t make me feel older. It usually just makes me feel a bit bored…

But I admit, I don’t feel the same as I did when I was 18. I have grown up a lot and I think I have changed significantly. Going to University and falling in love are the main 2 things that affected me. At the age of 19 I moved 250 miles away from my parents to live on my own. At the age of 20 I first had sex. At the age of 21 I left Europe to go to Asia for the first time, and it was my first time on a plane without my parents. At the age of 22, if all goes to plan, I should be moving in to my first real flat or house with my boyfriend. All that has definitely made me a different person but for the better. I am more confident, more independent, more sociable (still not very sociable but that’ll never change) and more understanding of the world. I’m not the same person I was 3 years ago…but that still doesn’t make me feel old enough to be an adult!!!

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Living in halls of residence and meeting my boyfriend really changed me.

Recently, my Mum revealed to me that she met my Dad when they were 22. I had wrongly assumed that they were around 25 when they got together. I don’t know why but it really surprised me to think that they got together when they were at my age. For me a relationship is an adult thing. I don’t believe many people are old enough for a real relationship before the age of 18, though admittedly there are  fair few people who are under 18 and much more mature than many adults. I know I definitely wasn’t ready before I was 18 years old, or after for that matter! Now when I really think about what is happening in my life, with my relationship and with my age…it makes everything seem a bit more real that it did before.

I see all these 13 year old girls dressing up like they are in their 20s and often you can’t tell! You can see why some guys end up sleeping with under age girls, it’s not obvious at all. I’m not condoning it but if a young girl who looks 20 is leading them on, they aren’t going to ask for a birth certificate. These girls often look a lot older than I do. I just think, why would you want to grow up!? Being a teenager is so much fun. I admit, late teens is more fun than early teens – you can do what you want, you can live by yourself, you can have fun and you have no responsibilities. I miss university so much already and I only finished it a few months ago.

Maybe everyone at some point feels like they aren’t old enough for the life they are living…or maybe I am just desperate to not grow up. 

Images: dontstayin.com