Quoted

I think my boyfriend is really funny (but I’m probably the only person who thinks this). I have decided to make a blog post of some of the stupid/cute/funny/random things that he has said to me recently. Enjoy the strangeness.

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On missing me (via Skype)

Him: Wanna wub my face against yours

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On our relationship (via Skype)

Me: Do you like that I am clingy?
Him: Yes, it’s better than not caring
Me: Would you like me to be more clingy?
Him: Nah, it’s at a good moderate amount right now

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On where to take his family when visiting London (Via Skype)

Me: They can choose but you can suggest. Museums are always cool.
Him: Yeah, that’s what I’m doing. Not sure how much Asians are interested in museums compared to landmarks.
Me: London landmarks take about 3 seconds to look at.
Him:  Knowing Asians they will take 30 minutes just to take the photos.

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Complimenting me (Via Skype)

Him: You’re the prettiest. No one can beat you.

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Random chatting (Via Skype)

Him: yeah asians are mostly layeah
Me: layeah?
Him: what ?
Me: What is layeah?
Him: erm cant remeber what i said 0.o

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On not getting any job interviews (Via text)

Him: I need a hug so bad right now… My heart is crying

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On applying for better jobs than the one he has (via Skype)

Him: THEY WANT EXPERIENCE
Him: HOW THE HELL AM I GOING TO GET THAT
Him: im going to cry alot
Him: ill never get a job
Him: we will have baby in a year and get on benefits
Him: then we will start taking cannibis and watch sky tv
Me: You already have a job you moron…

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Talking to my best friend (via Skype)

Him: [My name]’s rubbish so you will be my new friend
Her: k 😀
Him: girlfriend ?
Her: if you wants 😀
Her: lets run away
Him: ok 😛
Her: nah me and [my name] made up
Her: dont want to no more 🙂
Him: well thats the shortest relationship I have ever been in

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Grabbing me at the top of the stairs

Him: Cuddle
Me: Don’t push me down the stairs.
Him: Don’t worry, I won’t push you down the stairs. Not until you get your pension and write that if you die you give all the money to me.
Me: No way, my money is going to [my rabbit].

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Whenever he hugs me

Him: I’m a koala.

(Weird that I found this!) – http://www.mykoreanhusband.com/koala/

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Walking home

Him: The new grown grass is really cute.
Me: What?
Him: The grass is cute when it’s new and grown out.
Me: Did you just say the grass is cute? What is wrong with you?
Him: I like it when it wiggles out from the seed. Wiggle wiggle.

Later, when seeing grass that has been mowed.

Him: The grass has been shaved.

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Completely randomly

Him: Mustard
Me: Why did you just say mustard?
Him: Mustard came into my head, so I said it.

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10 thoughts on “Quoted

  1. i like the one about shortest relationship 😀 i planned to make some similar but in my case it’s not funny it’s just how ‘romantic’ he think he is for example – we got a ticket on hawaii, later that day we sit on the beach and he suddenly popped out with ‘i want to pay the tickets with you until we die’ … O.O Asian men are weird but cute! 🙂

  2. The guy’s a genius. The joke about living on benefits popping out babies after not getting a job is the sort that I would make…

  3. i should totally do this for my boyfriend too… he just randomly starts singing American songs … (and he doesn’t speak English)… and he is constantly using his Chinglish expression “妈的FUCK!” and he always says Cra-cra (crazy)

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